Defining What I Want

Over the years, I have given lots of thought to what I really want, when it comes to my home.  It seems the things that come to mind and stick around from year to year are of the impossible sort, so I try to brush them away.  But as they still stay, I am going to begin listing them today.

• I want at least 20 acres of lush grassland, 30 would be preferable, with it's own source of water clean, clear, always drinkable water.  I want a water fall with at least a 40 foot drop on the property. 
• I want to grow fruit and nut trees, with a wind break of pines, tall and stately.
• I want animals--horses, sheep, geese, milk cows, chickens, a couple of goats, a dog or two and some barn cats.
• I want a living room that we love to live in.  A dining room with two tables, that is used for more than just eating.  I want a kitchen that is designed to cook in.  I want a pantry and a cellar, stocked full of good food.  I want each of my children to have their own space.  I want extra space for guests.  I want a working craft room and a library.  I want a sunny master bedroom that is so much more than just a place to sleep--I want a true retreat.
• I want to work and live as a family, not as strangers under the same roof.

This is what I know for now.  These are the things I want for my home and family.

Have Faith and Obey

"For every house is builded by some man; but he that buildeth all things is God. 
And Moses verily was faithful in all his house, as a servant, for a testimony of those things which were to be spoken after;
but Christ as a son over his own house; whose house are we, if we hold fast the confidence and the rejoicing of the hope firm unto the end."

Hebrews 3:4-6  (emphasis mine)

I have always found it very interesting that the word house is used to mean both the physical structure that we live in as well as well as the family we are part of.  One is built by mankind, the other by God.

I find it interesting that God told me to design what I wanted and He would give it to me.  Obviously, he was speaking of the physical structure, because I knew just what I wanted for children, and that is not what I got.  I always wanted three boys and three girls, born in pairs.  My brother was my best friend growing up, and I wanted my children to have the same experience.  God chose to give me five boys.  They are friends, but all boys?  I would never have chosen that!  Don't take me wrong, I love them dearly. 

Seeing how much I enjoy my boys, is one of the reasons I find it hard to design just what I want.  There are so many variables.  I would have never chosen to have all boys, but nothing could be more perfect for us.  How am I to know what is best for my family?  For my home?  I have some ideas of what I want.  Some that haven't changed for years, others that change almost daily.

What I really want is something that looks like an 19th century manner, complete with antiques, that is self cleaning.  Real practical, don't you think?  Now, for something we could all live in... That is difficult.  I don't mind where we are at.  It is finally beginning to feel like home, but I know that I have been given an offer that I cannot refuse.  I asked God for a home, and He told me to design it.  That is my order, and I need to obey, no matter how many plans I scrap along the way. 

The rest of Hebrews 3 speaks of the Israelites that fell in the wilderness, because they refused to have faith and obey.  They did not enter His rest, in the promised land, because they refused to obey.  They wandered until they died.

I don't want to be like that.  A wanderer, with a roof over my head, never feeling or being truly at home. 

Dreaming of a Garden Hideaway

Since my first spring in this home, I have been dreaming of a garden hideaway.  A place concealed by trees and shrubs, surrounded with flowers, where one could spend a hot summer's day enjoying a book or sewing.  I want it big enough that the whole family could hang out and play, but not big enough for an impromptu game of football.  I dream of having a outdoor fire place, with an oven in the chimney and a built in grill. 

I can imagine spending the afternoon reading and playing with the children, even napping outdoors.  Lighting a small fire as the day begins to cool, and cooking supper, then eating together, all in out little get away.

I want a big lawn near by, with lots of room to run.  I want a play house for the kids, with a climbing wall and a zip line, swings and a flag on top.  There should be a sandbox nearby, for the littler ones to dig in. 

In the seven and a half years we have lived here we have done much to improve the landscaping of the yard, adding trees and dimension, improving lawns.  We tilled up half of our back yard to make a vegetable garden.  I have added flowers to my collection, nearly every year.  This last winter, I think the voles enjoyed over half of my bulbs.

Today, as I surveyed the yard, I think I may have found the place for my retreat.  It is in my vegetable garden.  For several years, I have transplanted runners from a friend's house to my yard.  Most of them have not survived, but the that few have seem to be thriving.  On the East side is a honey suckle, a couple of lilacs, a yellow rose bush and a couple of little trees that blossom with yellow flowers.  My bearded iris and peonies that I ordered the first year we lived here are stationed on that side of the garden.  At one time, they were at the foot of the garden, but as we kept expanding, they found themselves in the middle of one side.

Bearded Iris, chives, egyptian onions and a lilac bush.  The future corner of my hideaway?

It was never meant to be their permanent home.  I had bought them with a specific home in mind, but by the time they had arrived, my husband had announced other plans for the area... so I planted them at the top of my garden, hoping that by the next fall I would know where their permanent home would be.  Two years later, I moved them to their present home.  Now I am thinking it might be close to their permanent home.  If I get more runners from my friend, and line the north edge of my garden with them, then I will have two sides of my hideaway begun.  The two sides that face the world. 

The west side of my garden is going to get plenty of trees and shrubs too, but I want them to be bigger and sturdier.  The kind that kids love to climb.  The kind that will protect my yard from the wind.  The kind of trees that will attract birds to come and stay. This spring I transplanted about a dozen willows to the west edge.  They are doing well.  I have a birch, a crab apple, a lilac and a nanking cherry coming up on that side also, but only because they have not found there perminite home yet either.  That is, unless I decide not to move them!

The Vision

"Design what you want, and I'll give it to you."

I first heard those words while in prayer, some 11 1/2 years ago. My husband and I were living in small cabin in Hoback, Wyoming. It suited our immediate needs, but with summer, we would have to move, as the cabin was only rented out during the winter months. We were praying about where to go, asking God where He had for us. Day after day, we checked the local papers for places we could afford. I wholeheartedly hoped to move before our baby was born. He was due eight days before our deadline to be out.

When I heard these words, I began drawing. Drawing homes that I liked, of every shape and size. I made list after list of what I thought we needed, and yet, I never came up with something that I wanted.

I finally told God that I wanted a place where I could raise my children and a garden. I would like to have animals and a fresh watter supply. As to the housing, running water and electricity was preferable, but not required. Easy to clean and heat were the conveniences I was asking for.

As I prayed for these things, a vision of a shack on a mountain side came to mind. I knew the place I saw was straight north of Jackson Hole, Wyoming. About an inch, on my map.

The shack was on the left side of a little dirt road, that turned left off of the main road. It was up the mountain and around to the back side, so that it was not visible from the main road. There was a barn on the right side of the little road, and I could see a dune colored mountain horse corralled there. The road was different from any I had seen in the area. It was made of red clay, with large red rocks on the sides of the road.

Jackson Hole by Greg Westfall, edited by me

In the vision, I had two kids, the toddler had blond hair. I had a white dog, with brown spots. It could run like the wind. On the property, there was an old chicken coop, and an old car, half buried in the dirt. The place obviously hadn't been used for years, but with elbow grease and a bit of love, it would be my home.

www.joilene.wordpress.com

I told my husband about the vision.

He said it was impossible, because all of the land north of Jackson was national forest. I disagreed, but to no avail. We never traveled north of there, until several years later, when he heard of some lakes caused by mud slides, that he wanted to see. On the map, the lakes were about an inch north of Jackson Hole. Near them, was a tiny bit of private property, off to the left side of the road... and the dirt was red.

We didn't drive the red road, and couldn't see where it lead, as it curved around the mountain.