While exploring mindscapes, I have found that there is a home where the thoughts, emotions, hopes and dreams of a person are kept. In these homes can be many rooms, or few, depending on the person. Some are public, some are private. Some are easily visible, while others are hidden.
Sometimes the houses are nearly empty, like my brothers, which has a small kitchen and a hammock inside, while there is a fishing boat tied up outside. Others are filled with things -- often things that don't even belong to the person who owns the home! Thing that others think they should have or care about. These things can be objects, ideas or ideals.
Until last night, I had never been in my house. I have seen it from the outside, but could only make guess based on the curtained windows and the cozy brick exterior, what it might be like inside. I felt, that it must be in disarray, for I never saw anyone pass by one of the many windows.
I can't verify if this is true or not, at this moment, for I only saw two rooms in the house last night. My 'To-Do' room and a room that was labeled 'The Failure Room'.
I had asked my sister to help me, through prayer, to get into the 'To-Do' room, and see if there was some way of organizing it so that I could manage my time better. That is another story, to be told at another time. However, it was the contents of that room that led me to 'The Failure Room'.
In the 'To-Do' room, I found many hopes and dreams that others had for me. Things that they saw in me, that they were sure I could do and be good at. There were things from my dad, concerning my ability to design and work with materials in a 3-D manner. There were things from my teachers at college, concerning my kind, gentle disposition, and how I was able to help others along, even correcting the way-ward, without crushing the spirit. There were things from my mom, my siblings, friends from past and present. There were things from those I went to high school with, and those who had only observed me.
These things seemed positive, yet I could tell that they did not belong in my 'To-Do' room, as they were serving to pull me in many different directions. I asked the Lord God what to do with them. I didn't want to throw them out, but keeping them there was not an option.
He said, "Let's put them all in a scrap book for you," and I saw them gather from nooks and crannies all around the room into a lovely yellow scrapbook that was labeled "Hopes and Dreams: What I See in You." Then He said, "And now, let's put this in your failure room."
Immediately, I was climbing a ladder that pulled down from the ceiling of some other room. It led into the attic space of a tower. The room was small, cramped and dark. There were a few burnt candles on the floor and tissues. Other than that, it was empty. I looked around the room, and knew, that in some manner, I had spent much time in that tiny space.
The Lord placed the book in 'The Failure Room', where it would be seen as one topped the stairs. As the book lay there, it began to glow and light began to emit from its pages. The light filled the room and caused it to grow. Soon the it had doubled in size. The cobwebs were gone, and there were small narrow windows in the space between the roof and the floor. The ceiling was no longer rough lumber, but appeared to have been plastered over. The flooring was no long scraps of old ply-wood, but carpet, and the candlesticks were gone, replaced by a bright chandelier, handing from the peak. The space was no longer dark and cramped, but bright and beautiful.
And I knew, that in the future, when I fail, and instinct sends me running to my 'Failure Room', I will be surrounded by the possitive things that others have seen in me, and I will be inspired.
